Author Guest Post
It always "seems" as if relationships are difficult. They are difficult to find, difficult to keep and difficult to enjoy. Yet, the basic reality is that there is never a scarcity of relationships -there is never a scarcity of love. Love doesn’t come from the outside, it comes with within. It is up to us open our hearts and let the love flow. Love is our natural condition. Why aren't we in it all the time? What is it that keeps us from this love we are so hungry for?
The most common answer to this question is that before we will allow ourselves to love, first we must find, the perfect person. Most people don’t pass our test and we tell ourselves that is the reason why we are alone. But the truth is, we won’t let love happen. We find something wrong with everyone we meet.
Sitting around waiting for the perfect person can be a real trap. Take a moment to see clearly who this perfect person is to you? Write a description of how you would imagine your perfect partner to be. Then, take a moment to see how you would have to be in order to have such a partner?
It’s possible that you might think – what can this perfect person possibly see in me? How can I hold him? How painful it will be when I’m rejected. Before we find the One, we have to really like and respect ourselves. We have to become our own best friend.
Otherwise, it is easy to want this person to be someone who will build up our own self-image., make us feel good about ourselves. Without this person we might feel as if we don’t count, or that our life isn’t full enough. But, when we use another person to build up our self-image, this kind of relationship is never stable, it is always grounded in doubt and fear of loss.
Love has nothing to do with any images of fantasies of how somebody else should be – or how you should be either. Love is accepting yourself and another exactly as they are. And, love is never about using another to feel better about yourself. If that’s what you’re doing it isn’t love.
Love is a practice. First we have to start with ourselves. We need to build our love muscles daily, see the best in others, (and ourself), learn to truly listen, stop judging a book by its cover, become patient, learn how to give.
Here’s a huge secret I’ve discovered. Happiness doesn’t necessarily come from being loved, it comes from being loving. The first step in Searching for the One is searching for your own loving heart. Even though you may not know it, all the loving you are seeking from others is waiting right there for you within.
The perfect person for you to practice being loving with is always the one who is beside you right now. Each person you meet is giving you a chance to become stronger, kinder, more positive and feel better about yourself. The more you are willing to do this practice, the more of a love magnet you will become, and the sooner you will inevitably draw the one who is right for you.
The practice of love includes many exercises, steppingstones and practices. Here is an exercise to begin your practice of love right away. Try it and enjoy:
Look around for a moment. Who is there? Really look at this person. Are you willing to see the best in them? Are you willing to accept who they are? When you do, you are loving them. Are you willing to allow them to love you, too?
Some have a hard time accepting love, don’t feel they deserve it. If that is you, just become aware of it. As you love others more, you’ll feel better about allowing them to love you, too.
Now, look around at whoever else is in your life. Make a list of the people. Imagine yourself loving each one of them. One at a time. Then imagine them loving you, too. What does it feel like? Practice this when you are alone, and when you see them as well.
(In this exercise love doesn’t necessarily mean romantic love)
If you can’t imagine feeling loving towards someone, write down, why not? What has to change about them for you to love them? What has to change about you?
There is a wonderful saying that anything we can’t accept in another, is something we can’t accept in ourselves. Try accepting yourself fully now. Try accepting others. Congratulations, you’re on the royal road to love.
“Love is wanting for the other what they want for themselves Even if you aren’t the one able to give it to them." Lester Levenson
Sophie Meyer offers talks and workshops on the Practice of Love.
Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org
About The Author
Where's The Groom? by Sophie Meyer ~ Virtual Book Tour Page: Chick Lit Plus Blog Tours
Where's The Groom? by Sophie Meyer
Publisher: Self Independent Publishing
Publication Date: February 3, 2013
Format: eBook - 227 pages / Kindle - 383 KB / Nook - 2 MB
Genre: Chick Lit / Contemporary Romance / Women's Fiction
BUY THE BOOK: Where's The Groom?
Disclaimer: I received a copy of the book from the author in exchange for my honest review and participation in a virtual book tour event hosted by Chick Lit Plus Blog Tours.
When a friend convinces her to attend a new-age workshop on making your dreams come true, she gets onto a roller coaster she can’t get off of. The poignant and hilarious comedy of errors begins. The workshop sweeps through her life like a tornado and turns her reality upside down. She is told: visualize it, and he will come. But Ashley takes it seriously, and before she knows it, she’s planning a wedding. There’s only one problem: there’s no groom.
Things quickly spiral out of control as one misunderstanding after another occurs, and Ashley’s friends and family find out a wedding is happening, and want to know who the groom is. Backed into a corner, she finds herself having to lie, and to make her wedding planning more and more a reality. Things intensify as Ashley chooses her bridesmaids and is caught in a whirlwind of looking for dresses, choosing a venue, finding a band, and everything else. Soon a date is set, invitations are sent out, and there is no backing out!
In the meantime, Ashley is desperately dating, hoping for The One to show up in time! In a shocking ending with a twist, Ashley draws true love into her life in the most unexpected way.
My Book Review:
Santa Monica graphic designer Ashley Lane has everything going right in her life: a career she loves, a great apartment in a beautiful city, and wonderful friends. But there is just one little hitch: most of her friends are either engaged, married, or expecting, all except for her!
It's been ten years since she had a serious relationship like the one she had with her first love Scott. Through the years Ashley has dated, each one starts out wonderful, but after a few dates the relationships seem to fizzle out and comes to a grinding halt. She figures that she just hasn't met the Right One yet, but being single has become a liability and she has begun to feel like an outcast with her inner circle of friends. One day before her thirtieth birthday, her latest boyfriend Brad broke up with her for another woman. Seeking advice, she talks to Ray, her friend and yoga instructor, who says that he has the answer to her problem. He wants her to attend a self-improvement workshop with him that is about the power of believing, visualizing, affirming and living your dreams. She is skeptical but after being pressured by Ray, she decides to follow the methods they were taught and act like she already has found her groom and plan her wedding!
What starts out as harmless pretending soon snowballs into full blown wedding preparations that will be held in six weeks. When her friends and family find out about Ashley's plans, they are thrown for a loop and want to know where's the groom? Will Ashley's dreams of finding her groom and having a wedding of her own become a reality, or will it turn out to be just wishful thinking?
Where's The Groom? is an entertaining story written in the third person narrative that follows the zany journey Ashley Lane embarks upon when she plans her wedding without having a groom.
This is a cute story, but I have to admit that while I did enjoy this story (it was filled with a lot of humor and lighthearted moments), I did think it was a bit too far fetched to be believable, and I found myself rolling my eyes quite a bit. Nonetheless, if you can put reality aside and follow along with the madcap journey that takes Ashley to the altar, it will keep you turning the pages to see if Ashley's dream groom will show up at the wedding!
The story is filled with hilarious wedding plan trials and tribulations; some annoying friends and family who I wanted to yell at various times; and a woman who wants what her friends have: to find the right guy to love and be loved in return.
Where's The Groom? is a fun romantic comedy that is an easy read. It will tickle your funny bone and give you a HEA ending that everyone craves.
RATING: 4 STARS ****
Virtual Book Tour Contest Giveaway
Win A $20 Amazon Gift Card
Contest Dates: May 27 - June 17
Everyone who leaves a comment on Where's The Groom? by Sophie Meyer ~ Virtual Book Tour Page: Chick Lit Plus Blog Tours will be entered to win a $20 Amazon gift card! Anyone who purchases their copy of Where's the Groom? before June 17 and sends their receipt to Samantha@ChickLitPlus.com, will get five bonus entries.
Virtual Book Tour Schedule
May 29 – eBook Addict – Q&A
May 30 – To Be Thode – Excerpt
June 3 – eBook Addict – Review
June 4 – Leigh Bennett – Review, Guest Post & Excerpt
June 6- Lost in Literature – Guest Post
June 7 – Ai Love Books – Review & Q&A
June 10 – Jersey Girl Book Reviews – Review, Guest Post & Excerpt
June 11- Karma For Life Chick – Review
June 12 – Evolved World – Review & Q&A
June 13- Chick Lit Goddess – Review
June 17 – Storm Goddess Book Reviews – Review & Excerpt